West Of Loathing Wiki

Splinter cell walkthrough. West of Loathing is a single-player slapstick comedy adventure RPG developed by Asymmetric.

Description

• After reaching level 9, you will receive the strange leaflet on your first visit to The Council of Loathing.
• You will see the following text after the initial visit:

Your name is <name>, right? This came in the mail for you.

• After you have received the strange leaflet, reading it yields the following message:

You read the leaflet, and things become less.. illustrated.
You are standing in an open field west of a white house. The house's front door is closed. You hear a gurgling stream to the south, and a path leads north into a dense forest.

Hints and Tips

• While you are exploring the leaflet, simple commands will do suffice. Usually, they are two or three words long, and four is the maximum number of words needed (for example, Throw [item] at [target]).
• Movement is normally dictated by compass directions, such as North, South, East, West, Up, and Down also work. You can abbreviate these directions to N, S, E, W, U, and D.
• Some of the items that you find will be in your leaflet inventory, rather than your KoL inventory. To pick up an item, use the commands Take [item], Get [item], and Pick up [item]. To check your leaflet inventory, type Inventory (you can abbreviate this to I). Some items will not appear in your leaflet inventory; they will show up in your KoL inventory instead.
• Look at everything. Really, EVERYTHING: the in-place features, as well as the items, including some of the most unlikely and irrelevant things. There is at least one feature that can be Examined; it changes from ascension to ascension and from player to player.
• You may type Exit at any time to return to your KoL inventory, or use any link at the top of the screen to return to KoL in general. When you return to the leaflet, you will be in exactly the same place where you left it.
• If the game suggests that you will not be able to return to an area, take heed, and make sure that you have done everything in the previous areas that you can, before proceeding into the new area.

Rewards

• 200 Strengthliness
  200 Mysteriousness
  200 Cheek

Notes

• If you explore the leaflet thoroughly, you can learn a spell that is usable outside of it, and you can even keep that skill after you ascend. However, you will have to be VERY observant early on, in order to find the method for getting the skill out of the leaflet and into the main game.
• Some leaflets are located inside of the mailbox; if you read them, you will find that they advertise the Kingdom of Loathing.
• There is a trophy that you can sometimes obtain. It's not available every run.
• There is an easter egg that gives a hefty bonus to all substats; it involves magic words that are magic words or easter eggs from some really old text-adventure games.
• Typing Win game will cause you to win the game: Congratulations, you win! Doesn't seem to have changed anything, but hooray all the same.
• Typing any kind of profanity will yield the message: Do you kiss your mother with that mouth??
• Look out for references to the oldest computer adventure game of all, the Colossal Cave Adventure, originally known simply as Adventure; you can find the game's homepage here.
• Another hidden reference to an easter egg in an old text-adventure game can be found; the game is Scott Adams' Pirate Adventure.
• When you type Take hole when you are near the hole, you will get the response: How very Zen.
• Entering a message in the format Throw [anything] at [anything] yields the message: Your request to throw something, presumably at something else, made no sense to me. Perhaps you're trying to throw an item you don't have, or throw an item at a target that doesn't exist, or perhaps those objects simply aren't intended to interact in that way. For more information on the proper throwing of objects, send your name and address to 'Throwing: A Guide For Beginners', Pueblo, Colorado, 80019.
• Typing Eat serpent while you are in the cave, but before you kill the serpent, yields the message: The serpent probably wouldn't appreciate that.
• Typing Drink sword, or attempting to drink similar objects, yields the message: You start jonesing. You haven't had a drink since 45 seconds ago.
• Typing Burn forest in the dense forest yields the message: You decide not to, on the grounds that getting mauled by a bear in a ranger hat would be a stupid way to die.
• Typing Light leaves in the clearing yields the message: You're too busy to be messing around like that. Besides, you didn't bring any marshmallows.
• You can count the number of leaves in the pile of leaves; it is the same as the number of leaves in piles from various Infocom games, which is 69,105.
• Typing Look at me yields the message: You look like yourself. Fancy that.
• Typing Cut down tree yields the message: You whack the tree with your sword a couple of times. Ineffectually.
• Typing Eat petunias while you are in the tree yields the message: Nah. You're allergic to petunias, anyways.
• Typing Eat ruby yields the message: You already have the preciousssss ruby.
• Typing Up while you are on the giant's table yields the message: When you're on top of the Giant's Table, you're not going anywhere, Gilbert.
• Typing Look under chair while you are in the house yields the message: Mr. Horrible wouldn't appreciate that.
• Typing Take snake bits after you kill the snake yields the message: You mean the hacked-up bits? Eew, no thank you.
• Typing Take fire while you are in the house with the fireplace lit, or while you are at the bonfire, yields the message: Sizzle. 'Ow!' Sizzle. 'Ow!' Sizzle. 'Ow!' Eventually, you give up.
• Typing Take cave yields the message: Ha ha ha. No.
• Typing Take chest yields the message: It's much too heavy to lug around with you.
• Typing Take me yields the message: You attempt to lift yourself up by the bootstraps, but with little success.
• Typing Take hedge at the entrance to the cave yields the message: You briefly consider taking the minced hedgebits with you, but decide that there are better ways to spend your time.
• Typing Score yields the message: Oops, I forgot to keep track. Um.. twelve?
• Typing Close door after you have opened the door yields the message: You feel a sudden streak of malevolence and decide to leave the door wide open. Serves 'em right for not locking it.
• Typing Look at petunias while you are in the tree yields the message: It's an ordinary bowl of petunias. Apart from the fact that it's up in a tree. The whale must have landed somewhere else. It seems to have some kind of scroll in it, too.
• Typing Take ball while you are in the tree yields the message: The soccer ball is out of your reach. And boring. And exhausting. Just thinking about playing soccer makes you sweat.
• Typing Take nest while you are in the tree yields the message: Meh. What do you want a boring old bird's nest for, anyways?
• Typing Eat meal while you are on the giant's table yields the message: You're not anywhere near that hungry.
• Typing Look at table yields the message: There is nothing interesting about this table. Well, apart from the fact that the man who built it was a distant cousin of one of the Councillors of Loathing, and could fit three billiard balls in his mouth at the same time. Other than that, there's nothing interesting about it.
• Typing Take house while you are standing in the open field outside of the house yields the message: Look, I realize that the usual M.O. of these sorts of games includes picking up every object possible, but give me a break.
• Typing Wear ring yields the message: You already have it slung across one shoulder like one of those beauty pagent ribbons. That's about as close as you're going to get.
• Typing Examine sword after you have obtained the sword yields the message: The hilt is studded with genuine cubic zirconia, and magic runes on the blade read 'Frobozz Magic Sword Company.'
• Typing Examine boots after you have obtained the boots yields the message: It's a pair of large rubber fishing waders, magically enchanted to keep your feet dry. The label reads 'Frobozz Unnecessarily Magical Boots Company'.
• Typing Examine stick after you have obtained the stick yields the message: It's brown and sticky.
• Typing Put out fire while you are in front of the bonfire yields the message: Smokey would be proud, but you haven't got any good way to do that. Typing that in any other situation yields the message Yeah, okay, except that doesn't so much apply in this situation.
• Typing Examine torch after you have obtained the torch yields the message: It's a torch. One end is on fire, and the other end is for you to hold on to. Try not to confuse the two. Also, typing Put out torch yields the message: Better not -- you might need it later. You never know.
• Typing Take mailbox while you are in front of the house yields the message: It is securely anchored.
• Typing Put out fireplace while you are in the house yields the message: Did you have a particular plan in mind for doing that? No? Well, nevermind then.
• Typing Examine egg after you have obtained the egg yields the message: The egg is covered with fine gold inlay, and ornamented in lapis lazuli and mother-of-pearl. Unlike most eggs, this one is hinged and closed with a delicate looking clasp. The egg appears extremely fragile.
• Typing either Up or Down when you are not at the giant's table will yield the message: [Up/Down]? Isn't this maze annoying enough for you with just the four directions? I suppose next you'll want to go north-by-north-east.

References

• There are numerous references throughout this quest to the Infocom text-adventure computer games, also known as interactive fiction:
  • Much of this quest, including the house, the mailbox, the leaflet, the sword, the references to Frobozz, the grue, the pile of 69,105 leaves, and the jeweled egg that you can't open, is a reference to the 1980 game Zork I. Zork I was the first text-adventure game to have a sophisticated command parser that could handle commands as complicated as 'give the ball, the marble, and the car to the demon'. (By contrast, no command in the Colossal Cave Adventure could be more than two words long.)
  • The CLEESH and GNUSTO spells are both references to the 1983 game Enchanter.
  • The message that you get after you type Consult guide is a reference to the 1984 game The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, as well as the bowl of petunias and the reference to the whale.
  • The soccer ball, the roadrunner, and the ruby are references to the 1986 game Trinity.
• If an unrecognized command is made, the parser will return one of several possible replies, such as Do what with the what, now?. One of the messages is You don't know what words mean, do you?, a reference to an oft-quoted line from Mr. Show with Bob and David. It comes from the eighth episode of season four, Like Chickens, Delicious Chickens, in which David's character says the aforementioned line in response to the unbelievable anatomy claims that Bob's character makes.
• When you type Cleesh me, the resulting text is a reference to Monty Python and the Holy Grail.
• When you type Kill/Attack [anything that can't be killed], the resulting text is a reference to The Smashing Pumpkins song Bullet with Butterfly Wings.
• When you type Move chair while you are in the house, the resulting text is a reference to the They Might Be Giants song Someone Keeps Moving My Chair.
• When you type Examine firewood, the resulting text is a reference to The Log Song, which comes from the animated television series The Ren & Stimpy Show.
• When you type Examine stick, the resulting text is a reference to an old children's joke. It goes like this:

Q: What is brown and sticky?

A: A stick.

• Fans of Homestar Runner can try typing in the phrase DENNIS.
• The message that you get while you are crossing the stream is a reference to the 1984 film Ghostbusters.
• The message that you get while you are crossing back over the stream is a reference to the ancient Greek philosopher Heraclitus, who once famously said, 'You cannot step into the same river twice.' (Other versions of this include: 'You cannot step twice into the same river, for other waters are continually flowing in.' and 'No man ever steps in the same river twice, for it's not the same river and he's not the same man.')
• The giant's game (in which both potions are poison), the prospect of a fairyland beyond the giant, the fact that the giant is wearing a steel-reinforced eyepatch, and the message that you get while you are attempting to attack the giant are references to the 1985 novel Ender's Game, which was written by Orson Scott Card. In the book, a young Ender Wiggin is playing a computer game that forces him to make a choice between the two drinks; in the book and the quest, both drinks lead to certain death. In the book, Ender jumps onto the the giant's face (his character is literally a rat) and rips out the giant's eye, which explains the eyepatch in the quest. When you type Attack giant eye, the resulting text is a reference to this incident.
• If you choose a poison by typing Drink right or Drink left, the resulting text is a reference to the 1989 Steven Spielberg film Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade.
• The phrase Twisted firestarter is a reference to the song Firestarter, which was written by The Prodigy.
• Pueblo, Colorado, 81009 is the address of the U.S. Federal Citizen Information Center. It airs television commercials advertising that specific address; people can use it to request free pamphlets on a wide variety of topics.
• While you are examining the bowling trophy, you are told that the word Malachi is engraved on it. This is most likely a reference to Stephen Lynch's Bowling Song (Almighty Malachi Professional Bowling God). Malachi is also the last book of the Bible's Old Testament.
• The message You already have the preciousssss ruby. is a reference to Gollum, a character in The Lord of the Rings. It could also be a reference to Sean Astin's role in the movie Rudy.
• The message ..you're not going anywhere, Gilbert. is a reference to the film What's eating Gilbert Grape?.
• The Win game command is likely a reference to an easter egg in the computer game Monkey Island, in which typing in a certain command gives the message 'You win!' and causes the game to end.
• Typing Light fire when you do not have the torch will yield the message Who do you think you are, Charlie McGee?. This is a reference to the 1980 Stephen King book Firestarter. In the book, a young girl named Charlie McGee is able to start fires with her mind.
• The bear in the ranger hat is, of course, Smokey Bear.

The word 'safe' is a real misnomer when you're around.

• 4Safes

Properties[edit source]

Class: N/A
Type: Miscellaneous
AP Cost: N/A

Effects[edit source]

Level 1:

Level 2: 100 XP

Level 3: 200 XP

Level 4: 600 XP

Level 5: 1000 XP

Acquired From

Safes[editedit source]

Level 1[editedit source]

• Fort Cowardice (Inside the Fort, Medic Tent)
• Kole Ridge Mine (Inside the Mine, 3rd locker)
• Stearns Ranch (Cellar)
• A random encounter in region B
• A random encounter in region C

Level 2[editedit source]

• Old Millinery (Office)
• Reboot Hill (part of the Tombstone Puzzle)
• Fort of Darkness (Surplus Tent)

Level 3[editedit source]

• Jumbleneck Mine (Foreman's Office)
• Silversmith's House (Inside)

Level 4[editedit source]

• There are no safes at level 4

Level 5[editedit source]

• Inside the Stolen Train (Encounter 1)